If you’re managing people at your company, one thing you will have to do is negotiate compensation packages with people you are bringing onto your team. These negotiations are never anyone’s favorite activity, but they’re necessary and it’s important for someone coming into your team that they feel like they are getting compensated fairly. As a manager, this is frustrating because you generally need someone to start yesterday, and these negotiations push that start date out, if the person accepts, which they haven’t. There is a tendency of hiring managers to vent their frustration of this process with other members of the team. This is a mistake, and I’ll explain why.

If you’re not a hiring manager inside the company, someone negotiating their compensation to join feels like they’re already misaligned with you. You’re inspired by the company’s mission, you’re trying to build something great, and when you hear someone delaying joining you in that because of money, it creates a stigma that they just care about him/herself. What then happens when that person joins is they already have a stigma around them that they won’t be a team player. I have seen this happen multiple times before. What is already interesting is that this is exacerbated when the person negotiating is a woman. Women already naturally negotiate less for fear of backlash, and their co-workers prove them right when they do negotiate.

So, what do you do as a hiring manager? Do not divulge any details about the negotiation process to other people on the team. If someone asks if the person is joining, just say that you are still working on it. If that same person asks what is taking so long, say that hiring is a process, and it’s better for both sides not to rush.